Lil Nas X's Heretical Bisexuality
Currents
When Lil Nas X asked his fans, “Would y’all be mad at me if I thought I was a little bisexual?”, some people weren’t quite sure what he meant. His follow-up tweet, “That was my last time coming out [of] the closet I promise,” cleared up any confusion. Four years after coming out as a gay man, Lil Nas X has come out as bisexual. It’s surprising to see an artist who is so authentically himself — who takes risks and makes bold statements with his art and platform — worry that coming out as bi might upset his supporters. Whether he’s descending to Hell on a stripper pole to grind on Satan in a viral music video or using a well-crafted prosthetic baby bump to raise money for charity, Lil Nas X is not one to hold back in any area of his life. While it’s gratifying to see him clarify his bisexuality for the record, the tone of this announcement feels different than his initial coming out tweet on World Pride Day in 2019, which was met with pure jubilance.
Scrolling through the many responses to his bi tweet, it was incredible to see an outpouring of support from the bi community and other well-wishers. But the dismissal of his bisexuality found its way into the thread as well — with one fan going so far as to say that Lil Nas X was “Setting a terrible example for millions of gay boys who are gonna be bi for clout.” Comment sections giving voice to obnoxious views is hardly a revelation, though. More striking was the media coverage, where Lil Nas X’s penchant for trolling was invoked in almost every article covering this news. While most read as superficially celebratory, constantly mentioning his pranks is a subtle way to inject skepticism about his bisexuality. Why connect his puckishness to his bisexuality at all, if not to plant that seed of doubt? What made Lil Nas X hesitate to come out as bi when he loudly and proudly came out as gay four years prior is evident in how each has been received. Despite all the progress on LGBT rights and acceptance, new research confirms what many bi people have long known: that skepticism and prejudice toward bisexuality stubbornly persist.
Monosexuality — being exclusively attracted to one sex — has long been the norm in society. As such, bisexuality often goes unrepresented as people with bisexual inclinations are categorized (and sometimes self-identify) as straight or gay, a phenomenon known as bi erasure. This leads to attitudes, including within the LGBT community itself, that bisexuality is not real. Bisexuality is regarded by some as a misguided concept that cannot exist in practice — that those who say they’re bi are either confused, going through a phase, or simply lack the nerve to come out as gay, among other bigotries. This is biphobia, plain and simple. The irony here is that not only do bi folks make up the majority of LGBT people, but we know as a matter of scientific fact that bisexuality is a physically detectible sexual orientation. Bisexual arousal patterns have even been measured and recorded in laboratory conditions by sex researchers. It doesn’t get any more concrete than that. But monosexism has proven a hard habit for society to shake off, as I know only too well.
At one of my first Pride events, I found myself among a small group of gay men. When they learned that I was bi, I caught the usual eye rolls and exchange of dubious glances, but one guy actively got in my face about it. He demanded a detailed list of my sexual experiences and personal information from me to “prove” my bisexuality. When I refused to play this game, he lectured me about how bisexuality was both bogus and detrimental to the LGBT community because bi people lack “consistency.” As a final parting shot, he told me, “It’s only a matter of time before you come out as gay; you might as well accept it.” Interestingly, his prophecy is the precise opposite of what happened with Lil Nas X. These sorts of experiences are not isolated incidents, and they're not limited to social interactions.
Even many experts who should know better still buy into biphobic misconceptions. A new study conducted by researchers from The Academic College of Tel Aviv; Birkbeck College, University of London; and University of Sheffield titled “Bisexual Stereotypes in Clinical Evaluation” found that “Psychotherapists’ clinical evaluation of bisexual people is affected by the stereotypical notions that bisexual people are confused about their sexuality and unable to maintain intimate relationships.” These results suggest that similar to the general public, therapists buy into the biphobic stereotypes of bi people as confused, immature, unable to maintain a romantic relationship, etc. — which is likely to have a negative impact on their therapy. The attitudes bi people face in society are bound to affect whether they come out and to whom. In fact, although 57% of LGBT Americans identify as bisexual, a 2013 Pew survey found that only 28% of bi people reported that most or all of the important people in their lives know of their sexual orientation, compared with 77% of gay men and 71% of lesbians.
Of course, there are many factors contributing to these numbers. For example, bi people in committed relationships might not find it as important to share their bisexuality publicly or might be pressured by their partners to identify as straight or gay, depending. That being said, the existence of pervasive societal and clinical biases against bisexuality has had an undeniable chilling effect on the visibility of the bi community.
Time and again, bi people are told that bisexuality is an impossible concept by monosexists; that there is no spectrum of sexuality, with exclusive heterosexuality on one end, exclusive homosexuality on the other, and bisexuality in between. Rather, we are told that sexuality is black and white — straight and gay. But if sexuality is a spectrum, as both the data and common sense attest, wouldn’t it make more sense that we all fall somewhere on the continuum? But thanks to the prevalence of monosexism, some might not think exploring these natural feelings is worth the risk of ostracization.
Growing up, there were hardly any resources available to affirm that my bisexual attractions were perfectly normal. As far as sexuality goes, the only options I ever saw were straight or gay. What I would have given to see a big-name celebrity like Lil Nas X come out as bi. It’s only through the visibility of people like him that we can continue to discuss and refute the false stereotypes and misinformation about bisexuality. While his coming out was tinged with insulting insinuations that it was only a stunt to remain relevant, it’s still a moment that will bring hope and inspiration to many young bi people. The LGBT community prides itself on the ideals of openness, tolerance, diversity, and a commitment to authentic, individual self-expression. It’s an ideal that society has not yet fully lived up to — and if we’re being honest, it’s one we ourselves have not fully embraced, either. But we’re making progress every day. And Lil Nas X coming out is another step in the right direction.
Published Jan 31, 2023
