Shirley's Story
At some point, almost everybody I meet asks me one question: “Why sex work?” To me, of course, it is just like any other job, so my answer is always the same: ”Why not?”
I am originally from Mexico, a country with the second highest rate in the world for murders and crimes against trans women. So, in 2006, at the age of 25, I moved to Spain. Even though I am fluent in three different languages and have a university degree, it was practically impossible for me to find a job because I was undocumented and did not have a legal residence. The only thing that was available to me was sex work, so I did it. In 2008 I was able to get my residence permit and all the other necessary legal documents in place, and I started looking for jobs in press and communication — but because I am trans, I was still being denied work. After this episode, I decided to continue doing sex work, and have been doing it ever since.
I offer “full-service”, which means that some types of sex work do not involve physical sex, but in my case, it does. To be honest, I imagined this job was going to be really horrible, but it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I have been lucky with clients, and I have never had a problem with any of them — though it is occasionally difficult when some men learn that I am a trans woman. It’s not that they have an issue with my being trans, however; the problem is that they assume I am desperate for sex, so they will try to bargain with me for a discounted rate. Sometimes, they will even straight out ask to have sex with me for free.
My mother and a few friends back in Mexico with whom I keep in touch all know about my profession. I have never hidden it from them, and even though they worry about my safety, they have always been supportive of me. I am much less at risk in Spain, but my observation has been that, despite being a very conservative Catholic country, there is a certain amount of hypocrisy here when it comes to my trade. In public, most people condemn sex work and prostitution, yet privately, they participate in it.
Despite the cons of my job, there are also many positives. I am my own boss, and I can set and manage my time as I wish. It gives me the freedom to travel, to know a wide range of different people, and to plan my activism work well in advance. It also gives me financial stability, which enables me to live in a foreign country independently and with dignity.
People often assume that sex workers cannot have long term relationships, but this is not true. In the past, I have had partners who have not been comfortable with my profession, yes, and that led to a lot of suffering. So now, because of those experiences, I make sure any potential partner is okay with my job before pursuing a relationship with them any farther. Right now, I am in a relationship with a woman that has lasted four years and counting, and she is very respectful of my job.
My message to society about sex workers is this: do not leave us behind. We are your children, your parents, your siblings, your neighbours and your friends. We need legal support and resources to make our work safer. We are deserving of basic human rights and recognition, just like any other person. No human being should be left behind because of the work they do. Sex workers are not doing anything wrong — we are simply fighting for our basic human rights and sexual freedom.
Artist Notes
“The black colour in between the flowers in this image represents Shirley’s forced journey into sex work as a result of her circumstances, in spite of knowing three languages and having a university degree. Still, she doesn’t cry about it, and turns lemons into lemonade, which is symbolised by the orange flowers in the background. The orange colour of the flowers also represents the sensitive yet strong side of Shirley. The illustration features a couple in an intimate position, which is representative of the full-service work she does. ”
Published Mar 1, 2020
Updated Aug 23, 2023
Published in Issue V: Taboos