Stefan & Sebastien's Story
Seby and I met in a gay bar in London back in 2009. It was love at first sight for both of us, but we were too shy to speak to each other so my friend broke the ice. It turned out that Seby had “spotted” me a few years back in the same bar, and instead of coming to talk to me, took pictures of me instead. Now that we were finally speaking, things really took off. We shared a passion for travel, and we’ve been on many adventures around the world together ever since.
I used to be a lawyer in London, and Seby was a computer programmer. We liked our jobs and had comfortable lifestyles, but we reached a point where we wanted more. And so we decided to save our money and take a year off to travel around Asia. We finally left, set off for adventure in 2014. The plan was to return to London after a year and then try out new careers – for Seby SEO (Search Engine Optimization) online, and for me, teaching. We created our Nomadic Boys blog to record our travels and share our photos with family and friends. Then, about half a year into our Asia trip, our blog started getting a lot of attention and we had companies reaching out to us asking to collaborate. We realised we could make a business out of our humble blog – and it has since become our full-time vocation.
Just a few years on, we’ve done larger trips, across South America, North America, Europe and back into Asia. What started simply as a way to keep in touch with family and friends during our big Asia trip has become a lifestyle; and because we struggled to find interesting, relevant and up-to-date content for gay travellers in Asia, I think we filled a very necessary void at the time.
We use social media, particularly Instagram, to connect with the local queer community in each place we visit, as well as relying on friends of friends. This creates a more rewarding travel experience. In places where being LGBT is illegal or shrouded in taboo the gay scene is hidden, with underground parties publicized only by word of mouth. In such places (like Dubai, Russia, Indonesia, etc), the gay dating apps literally “become” the gay scene – and for this reason, we think it’s important to have an account on Grindr, Scruff, or another such app when travelling, in order to help meet locals and find out what’s happening in the queer scene.
Technology has changed the way we travel – for the better, mostly, but it’s a double-edged sword. On the one hand, we are more informed than ever before, with GoogleMaps offering efficient and reliable GPS at our fingertips. We are also more glued to our phones than ever, trying to get that perfect photo, directions to the nearest train station, or a quick translation. Indeed, our phones often kill our chances for potential encounters by distracting us from what’s happening in real life.
We’ve been to many places with anti-LGBT laws, like Russia, the UAE, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, the Maldives, Myanmar, Malaysia, Lebanon, and India (though their anti-gay laws are now, thankfully, repealed). On the one hand, it’s easy to say these countries should be boycotted by the gay travel community; however, after visiting, we believe this way of thinking is counter-productive. Not only does it deprive us of a visit to some pretty incredible places, but, more importantly, it deprives us of the chance to support a huge local LGBT community in each country, who benefit more from our visit than from a boycott. We always try to support local LGBT-friendly businesses wherever we can, and we urge everyone to do the same – in a careful and safe manner, of course. This means building connections with locals in such places via social media and dating apps. VPN is usually required.
We would love to see our blog continue to grow and inspire the gay travel community – but obviously, the COVID-19 pandemic has hit us hard. We pray to any God that will listen for a speedy recovery. We do think gay travel will continue to thrive over the long term. In the meantime, people must now think twice before going on vacations and cruises, and “staycations” or regional day trips will continue to be the norm as long as travel restrictions remain in place.
For more about Stefan and Sebastien check out their website or follow them on Twitter , Instagram and Facebook.
Artist Notes
“Stefan and Seby have fun everywhere they go, from the mountains to the sea, from sunrise to sunset. The swirling black and white pattern represents the local LGBT connections they make and promote everywhere they go.”
Published Mar 18, 2021
Updated Jun 12, 2023
Published in Issue IX: Community