Benjamin Mock
Benjamin Mock
Occupation: Writer and Consultant
Location: Manchester, England
The Sex in My Business: I write erotic, sex-positive stories. I also provide personal consultancy services on sex, kinks/fetishes and other sex-related matters.
A Typical Day: When I wake up, even before I eat breakfast or take a shower, I am checking social media. Once that’s done, and the necessities are out of the way, I check my email and get to work. Mornings are my research time, when I break down my client’s needs and read the necessary books, articles and academic works that can help me to address them. Then, after lunch and a bit of time outside, I begin doing exactly that. How I go about it, however, varies from client to client. For some, an email is all that is needed to address whatever questions they may have, while others need longer, more detailed discussions to help answer their questions about specific kinks or specific sexual practices. Sometimes, phone calls are needed, especially if I am working with a client on a longer project. Whatever my day requires, I typically work until around six, at which point I switch my email to “out of the office” and settle down for the evening.
The Best Part: I genuinely love making a difference in the lives of others. Right now, there is a lot of “bad sex” floating around, especially amongst younger people, and perhaps it has always been that way. If I can help reverse that trend and improve someone’s sex life by introducing them to something new, I consider that a win for me.
The Worst Part: My least favourite thing about my job is receiving requests that make me uncomfortable. In my writing, because I do erotic commissions, I occasionally get a person who wants me to write a scene for them which involves assault or non-consensual sex; in my consultancy work, I usually get roughly two emails a week from guys who want me to work as a pickup artist, much like Will Smith’s character in the movie Hitch (2005).
How I Got Here: I went through a major sexual awakening in college, and as I began to explore sexuality on a deeper level, it began to spill over into the fiction I was writing. Through the societies I became involved with, I encountered a lot of people who were either sexually repressed or sexually misinformed, so I formed relationships with them and provided a judgement-free space where they could feel comfortable and safe to ask their questions, express their concerns, and ask for guidance.
What Society Thinks: I don’t usually publicize the work I do in erotic fiction or consulting, because frankly, I think most people’s reactions would be that I am some sort of skeevy pickup artist who helps “creepy dudes” get their creep on. That is not the case at all, but there is a lot of misinformation out there, and it can be difficult for me to negotiate sometimes. Because I suffer from bipolar depression, there are days where the attitudes surrounding my work definitely get to me. It’s easy to feel as if I am a deviant, or a freak, or just plain wrong. Yet perhaps ironically, the generally negative attitudes towards what I do are part of what encourage me to keep doing it. Sex is natural, and it’s a good thing when it’s done right. The fact that people don’t recognize that to be true is something that just motivates me to keep working towards normalisation.
When I’m Not At Work: I love to write just for me. Right now, I am working on a romance novel, and I maintain a chronicle of a fictional women’s baseball league. I also love binge-watching Netflix, with my guilty pleasures being the crappy adult comedies that came out when I was too young to watch them. I also play Pokémon Go (yes, still), and I absolutely love to travel.
For more about Benjamin, you can send an email to mrmockwrites@gmail.com.
Published Jan 1, 2020
Updated Aug 22, 2023
Published in Issue IV: Activism